A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
