you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Bring me that man meat
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
