You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
