Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
