Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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