therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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