he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
