I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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