Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize