im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This gyro tastes like lonliness
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
