Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize