with your own penis?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
