how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
