I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
