69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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