This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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