This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
