I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
