I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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