how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
