so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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