There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
