we're chasing vodka with high fives
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
