***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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