i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
