Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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