I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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