My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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