yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
