i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
