The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she told me i tasted like america
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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