fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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