Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am one with the molecules
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize