how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
