I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize