normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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