Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
