Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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