if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
