we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
