we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
