he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize