All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
