yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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