Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
