Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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