She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
