My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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