He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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