i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize