I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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