Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
