Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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