Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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