My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
