Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
