You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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