You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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