worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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