last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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