Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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