help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
