when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
