let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
