I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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