are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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