do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
