You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm like, not good at living.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
