ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They have beer where we have blood.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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