Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize