I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
