I think im going to throw up on grandma
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize