Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
